Why I don't feel sad that my child is growing up

There are so many posts and articles going around at the moment about children starting school for the first time, and how sad this makes some people feel.

Maybe it is because I am a teacher & I know the extreme benefits of children being in a busy and stimulating classroom, that I just honestly don’t understand why parents feel sad about their kids getting older and moving towards independence.

I get so excited when I see my daughter master a new skill. We are in the “I want to do it by myself” phase, and nothing makes my heart sing more than seeing her want to try to do things for herself, without my support or help.

She is finding her own way in life already at such a young age.

I like to let her make so many choices – I have done this ever since she was old enough to understand what I was saying to her. Giving children choices not only makes them feel empowered and important, but it also shows them that you consider their thoughts and opinions to be important.

Encouraging children to make their own choices in regards to things that are not of the utmost importance, such as which cup they would like to use, or which pair of shoes they are going to wear – only leads them to understand how important it is for them to make good choices in regards to their behaviour.

We can teach our children to understand that they are in charge of the choices that they make when it comes to the way they behave. They are much more likely to make positive choices in times of difficulty, as we have already taught them that their opinion is important.

As parents we make so many decisions for our children. I like to encourage families to include their children in as many decisions relating to their family as they can.

Obviously some things are what we call non-negotiable – like bed times and the finances. There are always going to be things that need to be decided upon by the adults in the family.

Children will actually be much more likely to follow the expectations placed on them if they have played a part in the decision making process.

The younger the child – the simpler the choice. Try to keep it to just two choices for example – would you like a bath or a shower tonight? Hold up two T-shirts and ask them which one they would like to wear.

There are some very easy ways to start introducing more choices in to your family, and to include them more in the decision making process for your family.

Try these simple ideas and see if they make any difference to the way your kids behave!

  • What they would like to eat for breakfast?
  • We can start by including our children in helping to decide what meals to eat for the week
  • They can help choose their own clothes when you are buying them
  • What would you like to wear today?
  • Which way should we drive to school?
  • Choose activities for the day – park or pool?
  • How much screen time they should have (surprisingly children often know how long is a fair time!)
  • Bath or shower?

Everything we do is a choice! Even indecision is a decision!  Giving your child choices and allowing them to make their own decisions can be invaluable to their growth. Give it a try – they just might surprise you!

Chrissie (10 von 1)

Love Chrissie xx

“Empowering families to create the perfect mix of chaos & love”

About the Author

Chrissie Davies

Chrissie Davies is an educator, author, speaker, child advocate, parent and founder of Chaos to Calm Consultancy. With more than twenty years of experience achieving positive, game-changing results for countless families under her belt she is a sought after presenter. Offering a fresh approach to understanding and raising children in a modern world, Chrissie is particularly passionate about creating happier and safer home and classroom environments.

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Chaos to Calm Consultancy would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri and Boon Wurung people of the Kulin Nation.We acknowledge the elders past, present and emerging - particularly the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents who walked before us supporting and connecting their children to the earth, water and community. Always was. Always will be.

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