Seemed like a good idea at the time

To say today has been hard work, is indeed an understatement.

It started right from the very beginning. Today you see – was my long awaited day to myself when my daughter usually goes to daycare. It’s a luxury I am afforded, and believe you me I am truly grateful for the time it gives me to re-group.

It’s not like I spend the whole day swanning around doing nothing – I write, I meet with clients, I do the annoying things that just need to get done somehow – like go to Medicare.

Our day began on a negative note when my daughter just flat out refused to go to day-care. She stood her ground, she ran away when I tried to coax her to the car, and she yelled the words ‘No daycare’ in my face – all before the clock had even ticked eight am.

She actually had been a bit unwell of over the weekend, so I had considered keeping her home, even before that aforementioned foot was stomped down hard onto the kitchen floor.

I am not usually one to give in to such demands. In all honesty she has been showing quite a bit of resistance of late to our usual day-care centre, and following my mama instincts, I had already decided to try somewhere new for next year. I explained to her that today was mummy’s working day & that we had some jobs that we needed to get done.

Fast track to Medicare. Every part of my adult brain was screaming that taking your child to Medicare is probably not such a crash hot idea. How hard could it be…really?!

I was greeted by a well-dressed gentleman who kindly took our name & asked us to take a seat. We were told that only three of the thirty people inside were waiting for Medicare (it was also adjoined with Centrelink) and that the wait should be quite minimal.

“Have you tried to do this online?” he asked, with that look of knowing in his eyes for those who dare to enter the inner sanctum of this sort of establishment with a toddler in tow.

Within moments my daughter started  doing laps of the carpeted area and picking up the phone that people used to ask for support from external sources. The security guard(yes I said security guard) kept looking annoyingly at me and then my child, and I toyed with the idea of trying to get her sit quietly, or letting her keep herself amused.

It is at this pivotal moment as parent that you have to decide – is it worth it?

Your decision at this very moment can go in so many different directions. I tried to distract her with paper and pen- negative mama! We played on the computers for a very brief moment, and then I tried to encourage “calmly sitting in the chair” which was met with a very assertive NO, and it then it all just really went pear shaped from there.

I could feel the eyes of the people in the waiting room…the security guard…. the well-dressed gentleman…all waiting and watching to see how I was going to handle this situation.

It was in this very moment that I began to feel judged by others. To top things off my child then spat on the floor in frustration. That actually really repulsed and upset me.  So much so, that I spent the rest of the afternoon Googling toddlers spitting, and to my complete and utter relief apparently it is “normal”. A developmental phase – thank f*%k for these! They make us parents feel normal.

Yet why is it that we as parents feel so judged by people who we do not know?

They do not know the hours and hours we have spent pouring into our child, the countless times you have made a lion out of play dough or the times you have read the same book again and again.

I tried so hard to be strong and stay even though it was really difficult and so embarrassing. I stayed calm, up to a certain point, and then to be honest it all just got a bit too hard.

Did I parent my best this day? Probably not.

But you know what? Most days I give it my all. I give it everything I have got.

Some days I might fail and lose my shiz.

Will my daughter remember the day from hell in Medicare? I doubt it.

Will she remember that on most days I was a present, loving and kind mama? I hope so.

She is almost three years old and has already moved on and forgiven me for yelling at her in the car on the drive home.

I am going to do the same. I forgive myself.

Chrissie (10 von 1)

Love Chrissie xx

“Empowering families to create the perfect mix of chaos & love”

About the Author

Chrissie Davies

Chrissie Davies is an educator, author, speaker, child advocate, parent and founder of Chaos to Calm Consultancy. With more than twenty years of experience achieving positive, game-changing results for countless families under her belt she is a sought after presenter. Offering a fresh approach to understanding and raising children in a modern world, Chrissie is particularly passionate about creating happier and safer home and classroom environments.

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Chaos to Calm Consultancy would like Wadawarrung of the Kulin Nation. We acknowledge the elders past, present and emerging -particularly the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents who walked before us supporting and connecting their children to the earth, water and community. Always was. Always will be.

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