From little things things big things grow

Something happened in the media last week that just about the whole world was talking about.Ryan Gosling – yes the man with abs of steel, rugged good looks, incredible acting skills,(apparently he sings and dances too)made us all cry in the Notebook – stood on a stage in a room full of celebrities at the Golden Globes which was also being televised worldwide to millions of viewers.So what did he do that was celebrated by all and astounded the world?He thanked his wife for taking care of his two daughters whilst he was away at work. And the entire world swooned. I mean really?In all honesty the sentiment was absolutely beautiful, and the way that he publicly declared his love, admiration and respect for his wife was truly incredible. But yet why, in this day and age is it world news that a man actually takes the time to thank his wife for all of her hard work as a mother?Why in this day and age are we so shocked and in awe that a man actually understands, values and appreciates all of the time, energy and efforts that go into being a stay at home mum?Because the role of being a full time mother is still not really considered to be a job. Will it ever be? I know many incredible women who run their business around raising their kids – that is actually the work of two jobs.Over the Christmas holidays we have been home a lot with our children and my husband attempted to do some work in our office. I say the word attempted because he realised just how difficult it is to run a business form home whilst you have two children in the house.Some friends of ours did a role reversal for a year- dad at home and mum went back to work full time. They said upon reflection that is was the best thing they could have ever done as a couple. It gave them such a great insight and respect into how different each of their roles were, but bot equally important. There are always going to be challenges for both. It is such a shame more couples aren’t in the position to be able to do this.Many dads do say that given the opportunity they would happily enjoy taking on the role of full time stay at home parent, but unfortunately in our society in many business sectors this is not even an option.I am not a feminist. I am not one of those women burning her bra and screaming for equal rights.In our family we made the decisions that I would be the primary carer for our children and as such I am more than happy to take on all of the responsibilities that come with this, more than happy.I run my business around our children. I make phone calls and answer emails whilst they are napping and I see clients in the evenings after I have tucked them up fast asleep into bed. All of this I do so that our children will have a full time parent at home with them until they start school.However, it really does mean a lot to me when my husband says that I do a great job with our kids. Or when my son does something new and he acknowledges that I have taught it to him.It means more than anything when he says “How about I cook dinner tonight honey? Or “You have some time to yourself today – I will take the kids out for a bit”But to be fair, it has to go both ways. How often do I thank him for going to work every day – probably not as often as I should? I do often acknowledge how much of a great dad he is. I also tell him how much our children adore him and that he is so much fun. But very rarely do I thank him for going to work.Acknowledging and appreciating each other’s important roles in your family is the key. There are positives and negatives to each of the roles we play and no doubt there are always many challenges along the way. However, we make these decisions together for our family.I am going to try to be better at thanking my husband for everything that he does for our family – including going to work each and every day to financially provide for us.We don’t need to be celebrities or to be standing on a stage to do it.Two little words – Thank you.They say it is the little things that can make such a difference to our happiness.So, thank you Ryan Gosling – for making me thing about my family and how the roles of both parents are to be valued, appreciated and acknowledged.PS - I will try not to be jaded by the thought of you swanning around on a movie set, being fanned when you are hot and being flown around in your private jet. Or the fact that Eva Mendes was probably (I have no proof!) being supported by her team of nannies and a hair and makeup entourage at home.I mean seriously, being a mum is so much easier when your hair looks awesome!

Love Chrissie xx"Empowering families to create the right mix of chaos & love"

About the Author

Chrissie Davies

Chrissie Davies is an educator, author, speaker, child advocate, parent and founder of Chaos to Calm Consultancy. With more than twenty years of experience achieving positive, game-changing results for countless families under her belt she is a sought after presenter. Offering a fresh approach to understanding and raising children in a modern world, Chrissie is particularly passionate about creating happier and safer home and classroom environments.

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Chaos to Calm Consultancy would like Wadawarrung of the Kulin Nation. We acknowledge the elders past, present and emerging -particularly the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents who walked before us supporting and connecting their children to the earth, water and community. Always was. Always will be.

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