I am constantly speaking to others about the importance of connection within families and how it relates to children’s behaviours.
Children are always looking for connection in any way they can. If they cannot find it in positive ways, they will actively seek it out in negative ways.
I encourage families to really place an importance of nurturing individual relationships within their family unit. It is something that is very often over looked, or deemed as too hard especially for families with more than one child.
These school holidays I walked my own talk. I made the decision to take my daughter away to a friends cabin for the night down on the coast, only one and a half hours drive from Melbourne. I could tell that my husband was disappointed that we couldn’t all go. But that’s what parents do. They sacrifice their own happiness at times for the benefit of their child and the family as a whole.
To say my daughter was excited is an absolute understatement. She packed her own suitcase all by herself and then proudly brought me in for approval and to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything.
We did a stop at the supermarket on the way to stock up on supplies IE: food for the BBQ, some treats for the kids and of course we couldn’t forget the vino and cheese for the mamas….essentials darlings…. check!
And off we went. We chatted the whole way down on the drive. We looked for animals on the side of the road. We make predictions about what the weather might be like down at the beach. We talked about how much fun we were going to have – just the two of us!
We had a glorious time with our friends. The kids rode their scooters, we played at the beach, they swam in the pool and they played happily the whole time. We loved hearing them giggling at night tucked up in their bunk beds together….and yes we were enjoying our vino!
It wasn’t until we returned home though, that it really struck me just how much of an impact that this 24 hour trip was to have on our entire family.
My daughter leapt in to her daddy’s arms bursting at the seams with excitement to share with him all of her adventures. My son who is usually very much wanting his daddy cuddled me so tight and continued to want to sit on me most of the night. My two children hugged and kissed each other and for a whole 48 hours after our return there was not one squabble between them. They genuinely missed each other which was really lovely to witness. My husband and I had so much to talk about. The break from the monotony of life had done us good too.
Our family was different – we just felt more connected – ironic really given that we had been apart.
But by far the most obvious difference was in my daughters behaviour after our return. It was like she was high on life. She danced and sang around the house for days. She was more agreeable, compliant and happy to do everything we asked of her with a smile on her face.
She was so overwhelmed with love and happiness. Her little heart was full up to the brim. Bursting at the seams.
It really was incredible to see the difference one short trip could make to our family relationships.
I can guarantee you these will be regular events for us. We are already planing the next one – maybe a daddy/daughter getaway next time. And yes I am sure there will be a momentary pang in my heart that I am missing out, but I know full well that it will be all worth it after their return. I can’t wait to see the effect it will have on us all.
Connect, invest and give them your time, and your children will thank you 1000 times over through their behaviour!
Love Chrissie xx
“Empowering families to create the perfect mix of chaos & love”
Chaos to Calm Consultancy would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri and Boon Wurung people of the Kulin Nation.We acknowledge the elders past, present and emerging - particularly the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents who walked before us supporting and connecting their children to the earth, water and community. Always was. Always will be.